SUZI HIXON:
Female lawyers are lacking in self-care and they're lacking in setting boundaries, and they are not saying no, and they're also not asking for what they want in life.
SONYA PALMER:
Female attorneys are incredible advocates for others, but to be the best for others, you have to be the best for yourself.
SUZI HIXON:
I want to help these women do that. I want them to learn how to put themselves first.
SONYA PALMER:
In 2021, women made up over half of all female associates for the fourth year in a row yet equity partners and multi-tier law firms continue to be disproportionately white men. Only 22% of equity partners are women. We would like to see that change. Hello, and welcome to LawHer, the show where we celebrate the trailblazing attorneys and entrepreneurs who are changing the game for women in the legal field. Be inspired by their stories, learn from their mistakes, build community, and look forward to the future they're helping build for the next generation of women in law. I am Sonya Palmer, your host and VP of operations at Rankings, the digital agency of choice for personal injury lawyers. This is LawHer. Suzi Hixon is the founder of Hixon Law and Legally Blissed. She created this mentor based platform to help female attorneys become better advocates for themselves and their clients. Tempering ambition with deep self-care, Suzi explains how to recognize external conditioning, set boundaries, get off the back burner, and into the fire. Let's dive in.
SUZI HIXON:
I did not always want to become a lawyer. I thought for a long time I would go into something science related. I was a biology major in college. I've always been kind of a science nerd at heart. When I was in law school, I definitely had second thoughts because I went to law school thinking I would just kind of extend this whole college thing for another three years, but it was not like that. I excel in college. I loved college. I did well in my major had great friends. It was a great experience. And with my biology major, I really wasn't sure what I was going to do because I realized I didn't necessarily want to practice medicine. So I went to law school, like I said, thinking that I would extend the college gig and it was very different. So when I was in there, I felt very, I was kind of in a storm. I was kind of being tossed from one thing to another. I didn't really have a lot of direction. I didn't love the material. So it was definitely a confusing time for me. Law school was.
SONYA PALMER:
Did you have mentors or a support group that kind of helped pull you through that?
SUZI HIXON:
Unfortunately, not really. And that is honestly a huge, huge reason I have the mission that I have right now with Legally Blissed is to help people who feel like they do need mentors at any stage of their legal career. But I really, unfortunately, didn't. I was the first person in my family that went to law school. There was no one else that really had that experience. So I didn't really feel like I had a lot of people to experience that struggle with. And I also didn't have really that tight-knit group of friends like I had in college. So I think that that was another thing that might've been not so ideal about it, because I know that having that would've been nice. It just wasn't, for whatever reason, my law school experience and having kind of a network didn't really play out.
SONYA PALMER:
And you have two irons in the fire, and I do want to talk about Legally Blissed, but before that, I wanted to talk about your role as a trademark attorney. So in law school, become a lawyer, what drew you to Trademark Law?
SUZI HIXON:
I ended up talking with someone in law school and they're like, "Oh, you should take the patent bar," and I promise there's a loop here but he was like, "You should take the bat patent bar because you have a science background." And I was like, "Oh, this is an area of the law that I could actually integrate in some way, my science background, that could be really cool."So I took and passed the patent bar before I graduated from law school. Apparently I was really excited about this opportunity and fortunately was able to secure a position right out of law school as a patent agent working with a law firm. And then after I passed the Kentucky bar, I became a patent lawyer. When I was initially practicing law, I felt very excited that I was doing the patent work, but the problem was it wasn't really... The subject matter with the patent work didn't really align with my science background. I was doing work more in the area of mechanical engineering. There were definitely parts that were interesting, but it was very challenging for me because I was not a mechanical engineer. And I ended up thinking about, "Okay, well what other area of IP could I evolve into?" And I got a taste of Trademark Law and I was like, "Okay, this is really cool." It really resonated with me. I got to ultimately manage a trademark portfolio of a fairly large company, actually a few large companies when I was living in Louisville. So I think that's really important for people to be patient with that when they get out of law school and not necessarily expect that they're going to be in an area of the law that is a perfect fit for them, because maybe it just means that there's another practice area that's going to be a better fit for you.
SONYA PALMER:
That's so true. And even a lot of the lawyers that I've talked to, that's common. Where they sort of start out as a public defender and then they move into personal injury, or they start as a personal injury lawyer and they don't like that and they end up working for Immigration Law. So I think that's very common, and I think it's good. Don't give up. If you find that practice area isn't necessarily fitting you, that doesn't mean that law doesn't.
SUZI HIXON:
Exactly. Don't give up. Keep going.
SONYA PALMER:
So then what was it like transitioning to owning your own practice?
SUZI HIXON:
So it was exciting. I feel like I've kind of always had an entrepreneurial spirit. So I was kind of deep in law firm associate practice when the recession hit in 2008 time period, and I saw a lot of attorneys being let go, and that was really terrifying to me being an associate, because number one, I was wondering when I was going to be next. The second thing is I really realized, "There's not a whole lot of loyalty in these firms."I just thought, "You know what? I want to build my own thing at some point. I want my income to not be so dependent on someone else." You're kind of creating something from nothing. And I thought that there was a lot of beauty in that.
SONYA PALMER:
Around 2010, Suzi was approached for a partnership, but with no dependents and the desire to find her own way, she decided to leave her cushy six figure job in a larger firm to start her own practice and define success on her own terms.
SUZI HIXON:
I started my own practice in about 2010, and I was kind of living in Kentucky and California at the same time, going back and forth a lot. And because I was doing trademark work and really working on building my portfolio, I was able to take clients from everywhere. So young law students, if you are interested in working with people internationally, like trademark work is a really great area of the law. And I love to joke now that I have more clients from Ukraine than I do from Kentucky. It was cool and that I was able to do that, but Trademark Law was an area of the law that allowed me to really work on building your practice without being so location based. And that was really awesome way back in 2010. I think people at that point also, they didn't really understand that I could run a docket, that there was platforms out there that were coming along. I was one of the first adopters of Cleo. I was able to use the internet to do my own research. I just didn't need a lot of the trappings that a lot of people think are required for a law firm. I really was envisioning a totally different type of practice for me.
SONYA PALMER:
Good for you. So considered medical, considered doctor, decided to do lawyer instead and become a Trademark Lawyer, and then open your own business. I'm hearing a lot of ambition, a lot of care for your work. How do you integrate that with life? How do you balance that and take care of yourself?
SUZI HIXON:
Yeah, it's been very cyclical. I've gone through periods where I think my mental health has suffered because of my career. I look at that more probably when I was in a law firm I wasn't prioritizing myself at all. Over the years, and I think that this is something that, I don't know if it comes with experience or just more of being self-aware which develops, I think, more as you get older, I really started realizing I had to set boundaries with clients. When I started doing it I didn't put a name on it. I didn't call it setting boundaries. Now it's the thing, you set boundaries.
SONYA PALMER:
It's a good point.
SUZI HIXON:
Mm-hmm. So I started kind of integrating boundary setting, and when I did that, it was very difficult. But at the end of the day, I think I garnered more respect from people and especially people that were my ideal clients, and that it ended up working out in a positive respect. But with that said, even as a small firm owner, I've gone through periods where I've been like, "I want to work really hard and I'm feeling super ambitious and this year," and I've gone through periods where, "I think I need some rest."And when I've gone through those periods of feeling like I need rest, of course I had those thoughts of, "I'm a slacker."
SONYA PALMER:
Guilt.
SUZI HIXON:
"I'm a loser. What's wrong with me? Why am I not more motivated?" But I don't think it's unusual for us to not be driven a 100% of the time.
SONYA PALMER:
Absolutely, yes. Amen.
SUZI HIXON:
We have to recognize that and be okay with it and realize a lot of times the drive that we have, part of it's internal, but a part of it could be a lot of external conditioning, I think. And it's okay to take a rest, right? It's okay to set boundaries. It's okay to, especially if you have your own law practice, it's okay not to be beholden to checking your email over the weekends. That's one of those things, a boundary that I'm pretty big on. I cheat every now and then. And do take a peek like, "What is it? What's going on?"
SONYA PALMER:
What's going on? What's going on in here?
SUZI HIXON:
Yeah, but it is very different. It's easy for me to say that as someone who owns their own practice versus someone who is in the trenches of working in a law firm. A lot of it comes down to kind of what stage of your career you're in.
SONYA PALMER:
Cyclical, like you said.
SUZI HIXON:
Yeah.
SONYA PALMER:
I know I talked to intake specialists, and of course they're like, "I'm available 24/7." I'm like, "Oh, wow."
SUZI HIXON:
No. No, you're not. Let's fix that.
SONYA PALMER:
You're absolutely right, especially on setting boundaries, rest in general, I think people think, "Oh, rest is necessary." It is necessary, but rest also makes us better.
SUZI HIXON:
Yes.
SONYA PALMER:
I can't tell you how many times where I'm like, okay, I don't typically feel burnt out or tired, I start making mistakes. That's how I know, "It's time." And I'll take a long weekend, couple days off, and I'll rest whatever that looks like, going for a hike, binge watching television, and I'll find that about halfway through that rest, I start getting ideas. My brain starts working, and I'm like, "I think I'm rested. I'm going to go back to work." And it has made me better. I would not have gotten there if I had not stopped.
SUZI HIXON:
That's so true.
SONYA PALMER:
So I think a lot of people have a bad connotation. "Oh, people are burnt out, they're stressed out." But it doesn't just rejuvenate.
SUZI HIXON:
One of the best things in terms of just stimulating creativity can be taking a hike and being out in nature. Not sitting in front of your computer and watching your Twitter feed go by and thinking, "Oh, the creativity's going to come."
SONYA PALMER:
Oh, yes.
SUZI HIXON:
Yeah, go for a hike.
SONYA PALMER:
I can't remember where I heard this, but a lawyer that I was speaking with was telling us about how there are retreats, seven day retreats for sleeping, that the whole idea is basically just to sleep as much as you possibly can. The whole thing is designed around that. And I was like, "That is a great idea."
SUZI HIXON:
That actually sounds really fascinating, and it sounds awesome as a facilitator, right?
SONYA PALMER:
Yes.
SUZI HIXON:
All of my clients are sleeping. Nothing to do.
SONYA PALMER:
Yeah, it's done. Yeah, it's a good business idea, truthfully.
SUZI HIXON:
I know. My wheels are already spinning.
SONYA PALMER:
I know. So in addition to trademarks and all of the other things that you do, you also hold a certification from the Life Coach School?
SUZI HIXON:
Correct.
SONYA PALMER:
What does that certification entail and how does it inform the work that you do in Legally Blissed?
SUZI HIXON:
Okay, so that's a fun question. In 2020, I decided this was going to be my rest year. I was going hard.
SONYA PALMER:
We all did.
SUZI HIXON:
We all did. I think we all did.
SONYA PALMER:
That decision was made for us.
SUZI HIXON:
You know what? I think that's actually a really good point. Did I really make the decision or was it made for me? You have to make lemonade out of lemons. I'm just going to take some time to reflect on my practice and myself and kind of figure out this next stage of my career. I think I was getting sucked into that, "This is what I should be doing as a solo practitioner. I really should be hiring someone and I should be moving up. I should be doing "all the things."And the Life Coach School, one thing it really taught me was to quit shitting all over myself and really start questioning, "Why should I do that? Is this really what I want to do?" Because our thoughts create our reality, and we're not the victim of our circumstances. And at the end of the day, how we interpret circumstances in our lives really have an huge impact on our results. And so I was like, "You know what? I want to go deeper in into this work." And I decided to do the certification program through the Life Coach School. And just for interest of transparency, there is really no official certification program for life coaching. Anyone could go out and say, "Hey, I'm a life coach." So the certification itself is just through that particular life coach school. So I did that, I guess it was the fall of 2020, and it was challenging for me because I had to really learn how to help my clients find the answers within themselves, via their own thoughts and asking questions about why they are thinking a certain way, and helping them kind of explore how those thoughts actually impact their lives. And it was very different than being a lawyer, because as a lawyer, I have the answer. If I don't have the answer for you, I will find the answer. I am taking off my lawyer hat. I'm putting on a very different hat here as a coach, because I'm not an advisor in this situation. When you're coaching, you're helping people find the answers within. And coaching really is great for people who are ready to level up where they are already. And how that ties in to Legally Blissed is I decided to form a community that helps facilitate mentors and coaches and female lawyers. I want to seek out the answer. I want to help someone find that solution, sooner rather than later. I'm very much a consultant, much more than I am a coach.
SONYA PALMER:
There's a framework around this where you have some people who are connectors, and instead of being a coach or someone who needs a coach, they are excellent at connecting those people or facilitating those things. And you mentioned earlier about how self-awareness comes with experience, and I think it's extremely valuable to know not only what you're good at, but then what you're not good at. And to build those people around, still connect people that way. So that makes complete sense. And the self-awareness, I think, is very, very, very valuable for you. But then also the people that use your service. So Legally Blissed is an exclusive mentor led platform transforming female attorneys into self-advocates. What is meant by self-advocacy?
SUZI HIXON:
So one thing I learned through my podcast, Legally Blissed Conversations is that women, female attorneys, are amazing advocates for other people. They put themselves in the back burner. And with respect to self-advocacy, it is putting yourself first and it's filling your cup before you fill someone else's. And I am a firm believer that in order to be a great advocate for others, truly, you have to take care of yourself. I think that female lawyers are lacking in self-care, and they're lacking in setting boundaries, and they are not saying, "No," and they're also not asking for what they want in life. And I want to help these women do that. I want them to learn how to put themselves first. It's almost like the opposite of a vicious cycle. It's a positive feedback or...
SONYA PALMER:
Yeah.
SUZI HIXON:
It's like a flywheel where you start implementing these positive parts of self-care and you just keep kind of wanting more and more. I think another part of that that's really important, like I said, is the saying, "No," people have a really hard time doing that. And once they start integrating it, they're like, "Dang, this is awesome." It's almost empowering. And then they're able to do it again. And they get to the point where they can say no without explanation, which is huge. And that's something that I've noticed myself doing just relentlessly over the years, is if I felt like I had to say no, I had to do a three paragraph explanation of why my no. And I'm like, "Where is that coming from? Why do I have to explain myself away when I have to say no to something?" And I think that can be really empowering for women.
SONYA PALMER:
Because I don't want to do it. Yes. I completely agree. And I think it goes back to sort of what we were talking about earlier where there's a lot of guilt for women where they're not a 100% at their job if they're a 100% with their family, and if they're a 100% taking care of themselves, then they're letting somebody else down somewhere. And there's a lot of guilt around that. And what I think it is about experience, the first time that you say no, and you do sort of walk away from this thing and you advocate for yourself, and you realize that it's not about, "Oh, I just want to be lazy for a day," but that's compound effects. If I take the weekend, I spend time with my family, I clean, I organize, but then I do what I want. I go to the movies. I am a better employee on Monday, I show up at work, I am better. I show up for my team in a way that I wouldn't have if I had been working a couple hours here or doing this or doing that. So it's almost a disservice to the people that you're trying not to disappoint, by not taking care of yourself.
SUZI HIXON:
That's a perfect way to put it. And I would caution anyone who is thinking about working with a company or a firm that doesn't allow some elements of self prioritization. Demanding emails after six or seven in the evening or on weekends, that is kind of terrifying because they clearly don't respect your boundaries and also they don't appreciate the importance of self-care and what we were talking about, that better work and creativity are born from having downtime.
SONYA PALMER:
And we've talked a little bit about, we've talked about self-care, and you talked earlier about how you were creating a new firm. I loved what you said about you wanted to build something and that you didn't need the leather bound agendas and the mahogany desks, right?
SUZI HIXON:
Right.
SONYA PALMER:
So a lot of women are beginning their own firms and they're trying to create a schedule, like you said, that fits their lives. How do you help women achieve that goal?
SUZI HIXON:
So a lot of this comes down to mindset and action. So I think with respect to mindset, we have to be really careful about that productivity trap where we're feeling like we always have to be productive and ask ourselves if maybe that drive towards productivity actually hinders our results, what we're actually doing. I think that it's important to, when you're looking at your calendar for the next week, for example, that you prioritize you. You put your personal time in first, and then you work everything else around that. And I know people are like, "Well, I have four kids, so I can't do that." But if you have four children, then your personal time might be less than someone who doesn't have children, but it's still just as important, and you might not be able to integrate as much personal time, but it's still vital that you put it into your calendar and you work everything else around that. And then you prioritize what's most important to you. And sometimes you have to look at what your values are. And I think that a lot of people don't really sit down and figure out what their values are. Our values change and evolve over time as we age, as we have different life events happen. So that's why it's good to reevaluate your values fairly regularly, I think.
SONYA PALMER:
Suzi offers ways of rethinking life and practice. She cautions new and established attorneys against simply churning out stellar work for a firm. She says that networking is just as critical as doing the work itself.
SUZI HIXON:
When they start practicing law, I think this is where I think I made a mistake, and I see this a lot. We tend, female lawyers, tend to go into their office and work on A+ product, and oftentimes it's at the expense of shaking hands and kissing babies. That's kind of the way to put it, at the expense of networking. But I notice that male lawyers really have no problem with this, they're okay with B+ work, and they seem to excel still, and they make time for that. Networking is crucial, even as a young lawyer and making sure that the firm, not just partners, but the staff and associates all know who you are. And I think that people need to be really careful about that. So that would be really one of my biggest pieces of advice is for young lawyers to really think about how they're spending their time, because they can put a lot more work into results that are maybe just a little bit better, but at the end of the day, they may be better off having just a work product and spending any extra time they have into networking and socializing with their firm.
SONYA PALMER:
I think that's very, very good advice. And we just had a guest, Jessica Gibbons, who talks about this because social media is very much at the forefront, this digital networking. And I do think that some female lawyers, ambitious, that want to start their own firms, they want to build something, they do somewhat neglect local networking at their current firms, or just looking for local invitations to speak, or there are tons of things within a community and those can really propel a career.
SUZI HIXON:
I actually had someone on my podcast named Christine Mattis, when she started her own practice she knocked on doors in her town and it was like, "I'm starting my own practice." And I was like, "I think that sometimes we forget the beauty of local networking." We don't have to dance on TikTok. There are lots of amazing ways that you can grow your client base. And at the end of the day, one thing I have learned as solo is that my best clients have always come from referrals. Your best clients come from those great clients that you already have who refer you. And that comes down to providing those clients with just a great client experience, calling them at a random time, just wanting to see how they're doing, how are things going, maybe making sure that you put some type of special, if you send them their first invoice, follow up with them a week later and just be like, "Hey, do you have any questions about this invoice? I know that sometimes this breakdown can get confusing. The first time I look at invoices, sometimes they throw me off."Things like that, little touchpoints with your clients can be so key and do that, I always say this, this is one of the things I actually recently talked about was that they talk about the 80/20 rule. I'm all about, if you have extra time, 80% of your time should go to loving on your current clients.
SONYA PALMER:
I think you're onto something though, particularly for, I understand it, but for women who have just started their own firms, the referral aspect is huge. Now your growth minded and you want to grow a firm, you don't want to remain solo, you want to grow, then you have to think about lead generation, and now you're outside of referrals. So once you're big enough from your referrals and you want to grow, now it's time to invest in a social media strategy and digital marketing, SEO, because you need lead generation. But I do think there's sometimes they're thinking about social before they've established a referral system for their company, or firm.
SUZI HIXON:
It's fascinating to me, Sonya, that there's so many more things that need to be done before that you even think about doing your TikTok dance.
SONYA PALMER:
No. Yes. We've had a couple of TikTokkers on the podcast. I don't think they dance though. And it's interesting because they have a very unique thing. We've had Rebmasel on who reads the court depositions and they're hilarious and it's an amazing thing that she's got going on. And it's sort of like this helped her develop a brand. It is out of order, but I don't think that's the norm.
SUZI HIXON:
Right. It's not the norm. And she took something really unique rather than kind of absorbing what everyone else is doing on TikTok and trying to make it her own. So I think something like that's really special and can really stand out.
SONYA PALMER:
So it can be done if you have a very original idea and there's definitely a place for it once you get to a certain milestone. So what are some bright points that you are optimistic about?
SUZI HIXON:
I'm optimistic about legal tech. I think that there's a lot of really cool things that people can do with legal tech to make their practices easier. And even 10 years ago, I was so excited that I was able to have a law practice that was basically internet based. And I'm excited to see where the future of that integration of legal tech in our younger generation of lawyers. I am constantly and continuously impressed by what I'm seeing with younger attorneys, men and women, because one thing I'm noticing is that they really do grasp and appreciate their own definitions of success at a younger age, and they are defenders of their own personal time, "This is my personal space." I think that's really huge because when I was a young lawyer back in the early 2000s, you were a lawyer billing 22 to 2,500 hours a year, and that's just what you did and there wasn't as much questioning of the status quo. And I see that younger attorneys are questioning that, and so I'm really optimistic about where the legal field is going. When I think about younger attorneys, I'm like, "You know what? I think the practice of law, it's slow to evolve, but overall I think it's going in the right direction." And I would never discourage my niece from considering practicing law now because I would be able to tell her, "If you go to law school, you can make your career whatever you want it to be."And 10 years ago, or 15 years ago, I remember joking with another associate about us opening our own law practice of female owners, we're like, "How hilarious would that be?" And now it's like, "Oh, hell yeah. That's what women do."
SONYA PALMER:
Absolutely. I love what you said. I think it really, really, really accurately defines the difference between sort of millennial generation and then Gen Z about them subscribing to their own definition of success. I think that's an excellent way to sort of describe Gen Z right now.
SUZI HIXON:
Yes.
SONYA PALMER:
Not even just in legal, but in general. They are defining their own idea of success.
SUZI HIXON:
I think that's a beautiful thing and I hope that that is something that stays here forever.
SONYA PALMER:
I read that you are a big skier. What is your favorite mountain?
SUZI HIXON:
Oh, okay. So my favorite place to go ski would probably be Telluride. We also love Mount Crested Butte. So it's been a great place that we've gone also in the summer and we've hiked Mount Crested Butte. So just for skiing, we probably love Telluride. Well, I don't know Telluride or Mount Crested Butte. I go back and forth.
SONYA PALMER:
I am nodding along with you. I know nothing about skiing.
SUZI HIXON:
It depends on my mood. But the thing I kind of love about Crested Butte is that I have climbed that mountain in the summer.
SONYA PALMER:
Oh, that's amazing.
SUZI HIXON:
Yeah, it's really cool to see places that you ski in the summer and it's just.
SONYA PALMER:
Oh, that's very cool. I get it.
SUZI HIXON:
Yeah. Do you ski?
SONYA PALMER:
No. No. I've never been. I know, I was nodding like, "Yeah, I know exactly." No.
SUZI HIXON:
No, no.
SONYA PALMER:
I would like to try. So maybe I'll put that on my bucket list for this winter.
SUZI HIXON:
You should 100% put it on your bucket list, even if you just get out there and try. That's how I did it the first time. I was like, "Let me just get out here and see what happens." And you'll fall. So let me tell you, I will tell you also, falling does not get easier the older you get. And maybe that's kind of analogous to taking risks in life, right? They're a little bit easier when you're younger. So the body bends a little more when you're younger. So if you want to get out there and start skiing and do a few crashes, it's going to be easier on you this year than it is in three years.
SONYA PALMER:
Discover or recommit to your values and let them guide your decisions. Remember that expanding your network is just as important as doing the actual work. Constantly putting out work can be exhausting. Rest makes us better. Set time aside for yourself every day. It doesn't matter how small that time is. Take it so that you can better advocate for you and those you serve. A big thank you to Suzi for sharing her story and unbelievable insights with us today. You have been listening to LawHer with me, Sonya Palmer. If you found this content insightful, inspiring, or just made you smile, please share this episode with the trail blazer in your life. For more about Suzi, check out our show notes and while you're there, please leave us reviewer or a five star rating. It really goes a long way for others to discover the show. And I'll see you next week on LawHer, where we'll shed light on how another of the brightest and boldest women in the legal industry climbed to the top of her field.
