Lauren Grochow:
My name is Lauren Grochow. I started Grochow Law in February 2022, just kind of ready to feel out what my next legal adventure was.
Sonya Palmer:
10 years in big law, a six-month-old baby and a decision that changed everything.
Lauren Grochow:
It was a leap, for sure. I had a six-month-old that I was still nursing at the time, and I kept talking like, "When should I do this?" And everybody was like, "A couple years ago, you should have."
Sonya Palmer:
Lauren walked away from the illusion of security and built something that actually works.
Lauren Grochow:
I found a passion in representing plaintiffs, specifically employees against employers. That's exclusively what we do now. I had to do some soul-searching and got great advice that there's riches in niches, and why not be the expert in your field? And all that. So, I went with it and I'm so glad I did.
So, we help employees who have been discriminated against, everything from whistleblower cases to sexual harassment to wage and hour. I've grown my team over the past three years. I have two attorneys working under me. One is a seasoned senior trial attorney who is amazing. We had a trial last year, got a plaintiff's verdict, whoop, whoop. I second chaired my firm's first trial, which was amazing. And then we just brought on this fresh, spicy, brand new attorney who is an incredible writer. So, that's our firm.
Sonya Palmer:
Hi, I'm Sonya Palmer. This is LawHer powered by Rankings.io, where we help firm owners secure their rightful place at the top. This season of LawHer, we hear how some of the boldest and brightest women in law are owning power faster and keeping it longer.
Lauren Grochow built a law firm where empathy is a strategy, where kids draw racetracks next to deposition prep, and where power means making room for others, for joy, and for yourself. For Lauren, employment law is a calling. She's found power in the evolving complexity of the work and in the gratitude of the clients who finally feel seen.
Lauren Grochow:
I've always been the problem solver, puzzle obsessive person, like you give me a Rubik's cube and I cannot put it down thing. So, that's what makes it fun. Also, employment law is always evolving, sometimes devolving, but mostly evolving. So, it's really interesting to keep up on that and my nerdy side is just so satiated with it. And then when we get a great result, the clients are so appreciative. It's not like when you're on defense where you're constantly delivering bad news. It's really exciting.
I was such a gunner. I really was. I was top of my class in law school and I landed that great, big law job. I wanted the title. And power looked like that ladder. It looked like making partner, it looked like the accolades, the trial wins. And yeah, it's so funny how far I've come.
Sonya Palmer:
Lauren had spent years climbing, her credentials were impeccable, but becoming a mother shifted something and then a mentor planted a seed that would change everything.
Lauren Grochow:
When I met with him for a mentor lunch, while I was still on my leave for my first baby back in, it'd be 2019, and he planted the seed of like, "Hey, do you really want to be partner?" He knew I was up for partner. "Do you really want this responsibility? The added hours for maybe a little more pay?" And it just started growing, right? That little idea. And then the pandemic hit that following year, and I learned how to do a ton of administrative stuff just by the way the firm shifted. There was cuts in staffing, there was cuts in a bunch of other resources. So, I had to get nimble and that made me feel more confident. And then after my second kid was born, it just was like, "Is this worth it? Am I going to wait more for partnership? Am I going to tough it out?" So, I left.
Since I've been able to let go, I am no longer under the thumb of these East Coast, southern-based firm where a bunch of people who have stay-at-home spouses, don't have obligations, run the show. I'm out from that. I control my environment, but also control looks like fostering others now. So, I can control what I contribute. I want to redefine control now is being in control of your emotions, your emotional intelligence, being in control of your collaboration skills, being in control of your authenticity. I think that's way more powerful.
And then I pivot that to how I grow my team. I'm no longer on the front lines. That first trial I did with my friend, like I said, I wasn't first chair because I knew my trial attorney, he has an incredible talent, an incredible power that surpasses mine, right? And I was in the position as the owner of the firm to foster that. That is real control. And what does that do? By relinquishing that, I was able to get the win. I would not have won that on my own. People have surveyed me before, before a jury, and I come across a little too spicy. It's just my unique, it's my aura. Whatever. Danny captured this. My trial attorney captured it. It was amazing.
And I get to do that with my other people. I have a back office assistant. She's introverted. I quickly found within a month of working with her, she's detail-oriented, incredible with numbers. So, what do I have her doing? I have her spearheading our firm's efforts to evolve our systems. Every month, I have a sit down with her, so we talk about what are we going to do next? By relinquishing my control to search for that stuff, which is a delegation, but I'm giving that to her. She's using her inherent powers and control to come back and feed it back to my firm. So, it's no longer climbing the hierarchy, it's empowerment of others. And that's way more satisfying. It produces way less anxiety.
Sonya Palmer:
Leaving the security of a firm was more than a career shift. It was a rebuilding of an identity. But Laura found something bigger in the uncertainty, a chance to build her own definition of power.
Lauren Grochow:
At the time, it was frightening. It was crazy. I had always had a stable job, knock on wood. The only time I took time off of work was law school. And even then, I still found jobs. That was frightening. And I had two young kids. My older son was two and a half, just about to turn three, and my younger son was six months. So, frightening. But I did a little footwork. I had a couple of resources. One was another woman who had launched her law firm. Another was a couple, a husband and wife, who had launched a law firm, and they're members of the Orange County legal community. And they were so supportive. They gave me contract work. They gave me guidance. Literally, I could text them and be like, "Is this the right malpractice insurance to get?" They were so helpful and I made this journal of all these little tips and tricks that I was learning and caught on with that.
So, that safety net, that system was actually even more powerful than what I had inside a big firm. And these big firms had artificial mentorship programs and all sorts of stuff. It was nothing compared to my legal community that I leaned on and scooped up. And that, over time, slowly peeled away the anxiety, slowly calmed it down as I got more comfortable.
And then, next scary step is adding somebody to my team because I can't do everything. I hired my first assistant who works virtually, and oh my gosh, that was so scary. I was like, we're back in the pit of despair. What are we doing? We're not going to be able to afford this person. And then also her personality's amazing. Talk about emotional intelligence. Oh my God, she's off the charts, right? I was like, "I don't deserve her." Getting rid of that imposter, like, "I'm not going to be able to afford her. I'm not going to serve her." Getting rid of that, having that moment of, "Sit down, Lauren. Let's gentle parent again. What are these feelings? Where are they placed from? What are we doing?" Okay? Realigning my control. It just got better.
And then the next hire, super scary, highly paid trial attorney, has a dozen trials under his belt, most of them in federal court, "I don't deserve this person. What am I doing?" Nope, reorient. Start again. Now, he's been with me for two years and I can't function without him.
Sonya Palmer:
In her old firm control looked like titles and late night emails. In her own practice, it looks like trust, delegation, and using her power to make space for others to grow.
Lauren Grochow:
If I see somebody who's curious about starting their own law firm, I get so excited for them to embark on my path, because you're right, that security is an artifice. And as an employment lawyer, I can tell you, I get consults from these big law attorneys, been there so long and they thought they'd just be able to be there forever or they'd get pushed position of counsel, but it's not. You get too expensive. You get your practice area dissolved, your practice area leaves and doesn't take you with them. That's frightening. I feel like I have more security now because I know if my firm got low on funds, I could go scoop up contract work right. Away if I needed, I could make that work. I have great firm reserves now that I can project. I have control. I can see how things are going. I know how to plan for my team.
I also know how to control my pipeline now. That's amazing. I can see what everybody's working on. We have meetings, we collaborate. I can see what stages the cases are at. I didn't have that in big law. I didn't know necessarily where the next big case was coming from. And the work is out there. For a small shop, the work is out there. And if the work dries up, say something changes in the law, we can pivot, incorporate a new area of law, learn it up, be nimble. It's way more stable.
Sonya Palmer:
Lauren has built a workplace that respects people's lives because she knows what it costs when they don't.
Lauren Grochow:
When I bring on anybody ... I mean, the majority of my team actually doesn't have kids. My trial attorney just had his first, and I'm like, "Look, your baby on Zoom during a team meeting, we love it. Give us that serotonin boost. You're going to be able to do that. If you're just sitting and holding her during a meeting, that's beautiful. You need to do something parenting-wise, you're an adult, you can schedule your stuff yourself. You block your calendar. You prioritize."
One of the things I wasn't afforded in big law was I kept having five o'clock meetings scheduled on my calendar and I'm like, "Do you know how much that financially costs me?" And then the emotional cost of missing that five to seven-hour before my kids go to sleep. I need that. I need that for my own wellbeing. My kids need that. That's our nurturing hours. So, it was extremely intentional. My team, we are 8:00 to 5:00. I expect you to be on when you're on, but in your off time, I need that. That's actually one of our main values, be on when you're on, and off when you're off.
Sonya Palmer:
Walking away from prestige takes more than a plan. It takes ego work. And Lauren had to rewire what being a real lawyer looks like, starting with her own reflection.
Lauren Grochow:
This was where I had to overcome my big ego. It was so hard to tell people, "I left big law, I'm a solo," and then, "I'm a plaintiff's attorney." And you have to understand, there were groups of conversations like you could join and be like, "Oh, this plaintiff's attorney," when you're in big law, oh my God, my ego was so bruised. But then you get a big check or you get a really great result, or you go up against another big law firm, and I was a solo still, I think I hadn't even had my first attorney hire yet, and I kicked butt. I was like, okay, we're going to feed our ego in different, more meaningful ways, right? We're not going to be feeding our ego to the stereotypes that the patriarchy has told us it should be.
Always lean on those mentors. I told my mentors, I was like, "This is one of the hard things I'm struggling with." I told my therapist, I always have had a great therapist. You need to. "These are the things I'm struggling with. This ego thing is really killing me."
Sonya Palmer:
No, it is a complete sentence, a word that so many struggle with, but embracing no enforces boundaries that are not barriers, but a form of advocacy.
Lauren Grochow:
Why can't we say no? I'm leaving that behind. And maybe it's efficiency and flexibility is what I am incorporating into my practice. I don't pick up my phone. It's way more efficient. And I say no, I say no a lot. And I tell my clients when I bring them on, I'm like, "I'm a working mom. As an attorney, I am an advocate. I am in the driver's seat when I'm bringing your case. I set the boundaries. I negotiate the settlements. Do you want somebody who gets pushed over?" What kind of advocate and attorney would I be if I get pushed around by a client? I need to keep that tough mindset and be in the driver's seat to further the quality of my advocacy.
If a client is mean to one of my staff or attorneys, I have no problem cutting them. We are an employee-first firm because we cannot do good work unless we're taking care of ourselves.
Sonya Palmer:
For Lauren to build a business, she also needed to build a village. She knew she could not do this alone. From her nanny to her fellow founders, community has been her infrastructure.
Lauren Grochow:
I had to basically build the firm culture, I think was really important, so that everybody on my team accepted like, "Hey, it's Monday. My kid has baseball practice. I'm dipping out at 4:00. You know I'm going to be reliable for my work, but I got to go." And I don't need to explain that to anybody. I just go now.
But also, I had to hire a full-time nanny, and that was expensive and scary too, because it's basically adding another employee. But I got so lucky, I found a woman, at the time, she had a son that was right in between my kids' ages, and this is right around the time I started my firm because our former nanny left us. So, right in between my kids' ages at the time. And she literally became a family member to us, and we were very open about her. We tell her like, "Oh my gosh, this is going to be a tough work day. Can we shift the schedule? Can we do this?" And if she needs a day, we all work together like we are one big family. And so, I had to build my community.
I also am never hesitant now to say, "I need extra help with the kids," because there's certain phases that are hard. And part of this maybe is because my husband's very 50/50 with me on the kids. He might even be 60/40 and watching them sometimes, because I'm the 40, because he's a very good parent. But we needed that to do this. And sometimes it comes into a very, like, "I need extra support right now." Or he starts trial on Monday, and I'm like, I can feel he needs extra support, so I jump in. But he would never hesitate to say like, "Look, I need to take this weekend and work." And that open communication is so necessary.
The Orange County Bar Association's Mommy Esquire is amazing. It's not structured as far as mentorship, but I know vast majority of the women in that group, I can call on them. I formed one of my closest relationships, actually, she ended up moving into my building to be ... She does the same type of law as me. We're constantly starting on cases. We have our own firms. And it's such a support. Also, the past leader of Mommy Esquire, Dana Heyde, who's an amazing trust attorney, she kills it at parenting and running a law firm. And I can reach out to her by text and it's so powerful.
And they talk about real stuff too. They'll have like, "Oh, your kids are applying for college." And I know I'm far off from that, but it's a concern like, oh my gosh, all these little things that come up in your mom side of yourself. And I actually get the opportunity to speak about starting a law firm with them. And it's like my favorite thing ever because I get to then be the mentor, that brings me so much joy.
Sonya Palmer:
To carry the weight of other people's trauma, Lauren had to find ways to put some of it down. Jiu-jitsu, therapy, and the radical act of letting herself feel.
Lauren Grochow:
I do yoga and weightlifting, and I feel like now I combine it with jiu-jitsu and I have a little community of women in my jiu-jitsu community, and that takes care of my ... It helps with my mental health, it helps with my physical health. I know when I can go hit the mat, I'm leaving all the stress of other people behind.
Another thing too is, I'm an empath, so I get deep feelings when somebody conveys to me how hurt they are. And I need to acknowledge and accept those feelings and not repress them. And that is something that a lot of women who are empaths, especially us that are plaintiff's attorneys and working moms, that's kind of our thing. We need to acknowledge it and accept it.
I actually got this great little gem from a friend and somebody told me this great thing where if we only look through one lens of the gem, we're only seeing one spectrum of its possibility, right? If we're, "Oh my gosh, this is so hard. This is so hard. What can we do?" If we turn the gem, there's so many other aspects we can have. So, I know as an advocate, I can take my client's stress, I can take that pain, I can learn it, digest it, make it part of the story and my advocacy, and fight for them, and use my language, use my words and my writing skills to convey what they're feeling because I am that empath, because I can digest what they're saying. And I then say, "Okay, this is awesome that they're trusting me to tell me what this is, so then I can better advocate using what they've told me."
Sonya Palmer:
Lauren Grochow is part of a rising wave of women redefining what power looks like in law. If this conversation moved you, share it and subscribe to LawHer for more stories from the boldest women in the field.
Lauren Grochow:
We can break the cycle. We can break the traditional law firm and do better. As moms, we are so organized, we are so efficient. A rising tide raises all ships. You're going to be in a position to pay it forward. Always pay it forward if you can, and you never know how that karma comes back to you in just the most beautiful ways.
