Whitney Betts:
In my first 10 years of practice, I didn't have fear. I just did. The fear of actually advocating for yourself. It can be terrifying to be like, "I am listening to my gut and I'm going to do this."
Sonya Palmer:
Sometimes, power begins with a single courageous choice. For Whitney Betts, the first time she truly felt powerful wasn't when she made partner at a national law firm or in the choice to start a firm with her husband. It was when she hit send on her very first plaintiff side demand letter, an act that terrified her and changed everything. You are listening to LawHer, powered by Rankings.io. I am Sonya Palmer. And together we explore how women in the legal industry can own power faster and keep it longer.
Whitney Betts:
One of the scariest moments was actually when I hit the email click send button on my first demand, when I filed a first lawsuit on behalf of somebody. Because implicit in that fear was also the power that came with it and acknowledging it. I can do this. We have these skills. We are not just lawyers that can push paper, but we have had this revelation over the last couple of years in building this firm of just how powerful we are. We are not lawyers, we have these skills. And these skills are transferable into developing a business, into hiring others, into not just mentoring junior attorneys that I'm passionate about, but actually enacting change in this industry. Being able to create a firm structure that I am proud of, an environment that people want to work at, all of this is power and ability and it's in us.
We are able to sit back and be like, "If something's not working, that's on us." And all of this is simultaneously amazing and terrifying. Because I've also told friends that developing this firm and growing it the way that we have has been the hardest thing I've ever done. This has been more challenging, because I have been thoughtful about it, I have curated it, I have crafted it. I'm not doing it alone. All of these decisions are with my husband. We discuss. We don't always agree. We come to a plan and a strategy. And that's just been this most empowering feeling even though it has been really scary. Launching a website with your face on it, putting yourself out there, putting the first videos of myself talking about what trauma and consent is in this environment, in this world, was how is this going to be received?
And yeah, I got some pretty heinous DMs back. But you know what I also got? Contacts from other sexual assault attorneys supporting me, referrals for what have been some great cases. The support in this industry well outweighs the negativity that you can choose to shut off. And that's even being at conferences like this at Wits, which has been... The first year I came here, it was aspirational. I had just launched. And immediately, I didn't admit that to people, but it was like, "I have these three cases. I'm so excited about them. I hope it's going to..." It's going to. It was forward-looking. It was future. Because I didn't have that confidence yet. I hadn't actually lived the life cycle of a case.
From the plaintiff's side, that was my own to full success. And the first time I did that and really got that good settlement, it was just such an affirmation of everything that we've been doing and confidence building in space.
Sonya Palmer:
Before there was Betts Law Group, there was a Cal Poly communications major who just wanted to cook. But Whitney's first love was language, not litigation. It was policy debate that taught her how law shapes society and gave her a taste of what it feels like to persuade, to fight, and to win.
Whitney Betts:
Went to college in protest, vehemently. Wanted to go to culinary school. And neither of my parents were college educated. They had both gone only two years, had different sorts of careers, and were like, "No, you are going to college. You do not have a choice." So I chose what seemed to be the least offensive major at Cal Poly Assembly of Obispo, of communication studies, which is master of everything and nothing at the same time. Just was going to get through it. And then my plan was to go to culinary school. Got introduced to a policy debate course and just was enamored with it. Did well in the course, was invited to join school's team. One first place speaker at my first ever tournament at Cal Berkeley that I went to. One first place speaker at the next couple tournaments I went to and then got promoted to varsity, went to nationals.
And our last year of college, the topic was on the implications of overturning four different Supreme Court cases. And so you're arguing all year about the pros and the cons and the impacts that it would have in society and the foundations about it. And it just really hit me to the core of how not just fundamental but monumental law can be in impacting societies. That was it for me. After that, it didn't even seem like a question. I don't know where it got in my mind. It was just, "Hey mom, do you want to go to this fair with me? I want to go check out law schools."
I got out of law school, high ranked in my class, and couldn't get a job. So that's where the story pivots.
Sonya Palmer:
Her first years in practice were trial by fire, sometimes literally. She was underpaid, underprepared, and in over her head. But every mistake, every humiliation, became a kind of fuel.
Whitney Betts:
It was post recession, applied to the district attorney's office because I had an internship there. Couldn't get a job. Applying left and right. Volunteering at the domestic violence clinic just to get some credits on my resume. Eventually got hired by a car accident, just mass kind of place in San Diego. And I got paid. Now I know this is how ignorant one can be even when coming out of law school. I was paid less than the legal salary that you were required to pay a professional attorney coming out of law school in my first year. And the only good thing about that job was that he threw me in the deep end because he was cheap. I went to all these mediations. I went to court when I shouldn't have. I got chewed out in my very first court appearance that I told would be easy-peasy in front of a female judge for not being prepared. Because I was like, "Oh, I just have these papers, your Honor. I'm here today. I represent this."
She has details of the case, I didn't know them, and just reamed me out. And I remember going back and being like, "What just happened?" That was awful. I can't believe a woman would be so mean. And instead of being angry at the man, frankly, that had underprepared me, and I was angry at a female judge who I now realize in perspective was just doing me the service of teaching me that lesson, and I was never underprepared for a court hearing again in my whole career.
Sonya Palmer:
From there, she bounced around jobs and landed in LA. But even that firm was not what she was hoping for.
Whitney Betts:
I'm not even kidding. I had to quit from this law firm because he would scream at us. "Are we idiots, Whitney? Only idiots would talk this way." And I would go home crying at night, like in Pacific Palisades, at this beautiful apartment, and was just miserable. I finally had enough. I cleaned up my desk and I left. But even that was hard because when you leave a job and then you go to apply to further jobs, you have to explain why. And the number one rule is you can't badmouth your former employer even if they truly were a terrible person. So even that moment where I felt empowered that I was absolutely doing the right thing and I didn't want to be part and parcel of this firm was also a stumbling block. But when my inside said, "This is enough. Don't do this anymore," I exited.
Sonya Palmer:
Disappointed by her first year and a half in plaintiff's work, she thought there would be safety and security in defense work.
Whitney Betts:
And I thought that at least if it was a righteous case, I would have the ability to recommend a good settlement. That's what I was always telling myself. I can do the right thing for these plaintiffs and for the overreaching ones, for the outrageous ones. Well, yeah, I'll fight those, of course. And then I realized the longer I was in it, I kind of got this side recognition for knowing how to do sexual abuse cases and sexual assault cases because there is no really team of that in defense. You just get better those cases towards you once you know how to do them.
No matter what, no matter my initial report that said this case is worth $500,000, you should probably just save the company two years worth of litigation time and a couple hundred thousand dollars of defense costs and just pay it now. No. We're going to hold their feet to the fire. We're going to do every motion we can. And the real disconnect was even when I would be forced to file motions and make arguments in court you don't believe in, that you have actively recommended to a carrier against because it is actually not in accord with the law. You know you're going to lose and you are forced to make that argument anyway. It's a terrible feeling.
Sonya Palmer:
In defense work, she saw just how much the system resists accountability. Whitney was assigned case after case involving sexual assault, despite knowing exactly how little her advice would matter. She felt like she was having the same conversations in settlement conferences and mediations over and over until she hit her breaking point.
Whitney Betts:
I had this case, sexual assault case, massage therapy, spa. Woman reports. It makes a police report. The massage spa is like, "That wouldn't happen here. We believe our guy." No investigation, no repercussion, nothing. I have to represent this woman in deposition, this business owner. She tanks her depo. I mean this should be a one hour in and out. It's at eight hours. She's out of control. She is not following any legal advice. We are breaking. We are trying to coach. And she's just so indignant and affronted that her business and reputation could be... Part of this, she won't accept it. And the next day, of course, we get a million dollar policy limits demand. And I'm like, "What am I supposed to do with this now? You did this to yourself." That was just a moment of no return for me.
I view it as life happened to us for a long time. And there was almost like this bubble that started building and building, and around COVID too with all of this self-revelation. And the first time in my life that I slowed down and stepped back and started to evaluate. At the same time, my husband just... We've been together since law school. And we happened to both be partners at the same firm. Just happened out that way in life. And a massive part of his income structure was this bonus program. And after COVID, they just started cutting it. And I mean, it made it. So after six years with the company, he was making less than he was making his first year with the company.
And they were just like, "Sorry." So it was my health problems coupled with this financial decline, multiplied. It's not a great feeling. Meanwhile, we're starting to raise two little boys that have awareness of life. And I mean, they're real little at this time, but I'm just looking at them and thinking like, "Am I proud of who I am? Do I want to tell them about what we do?" And my husband took us out to dinner on our anniversary and he just pitched me, "What if we do this ourselves?"
Sonya Palmer:
It wasn't a leap. It was a long walk to the edge. They planned everything; salary, timing, even optics.
Whitney Betts:
We had to evaluate how we do this. We could not go without salaries. We could not have no income. I really wanted to go. I was so desperate to leave. And to work every day with this smiling face and this amazing work, I think. I mean, I was called a superstar, my team. And dying inside was awful, but his exit plan made fiscal sense to be first. His cases are work comp. They're shorter lifespan. They resolve faster. And he gets paid upfront for deposition time and prep time. So money could be coming in quicker as well.
So we decided to launch him exit first. And also I was making more at that time. When we stepped back and looked at it from a strategic financial decision for the family, this made the most sense. It played out well. We were hoping it would be a one to three year timeline until I could exit. And at the one year mark, I was able to jump. And I'm so proud of that because all we want to do is talk cases together, a growth plan, and how do we hire. Joined him officially as Betts Law Group and we just went from there.
Sonya Palmer:
When you're deep in it, case file stacked high, expectations even higher, it's almost impossible to see your life clearly. Sometimes, reclaiming your power starts with something deceptively simple; stepping away.
Whitney Betts:
Take a day. Put your life on pause. Go to a day spa, but not for two hours, for 12, or for three days, or do a women's retreat.
Sonya Palmer:
Whitney Betts learned that real clarity, real change comes from pausing long enough to ask yourself a different question, "Am I proud of what I'm building?" Here's Whitney on what it really means to give yourself the space to see the path forward.
Whitney Betts:
So just allow yourself that grace, to know that life will go on, life will continue, your work will still be there when you get back, to let yourself float up and look down at what you have created, and see if you are happy with it. And if you're not, yeah, it's easy to say, "Well, I'm stuck." And routes to exit aren't always the next day. You might have to plan it out and make a timeline. Especially with friends that I have had, one just launched her own firm. I'm so thrilled for her. But as a single mom, post-divorce, this has been a long road. Even though her core told her to do it for a number of years, financially, she didn't know that she could. Right?
But to make that informed decision and to let your core and your passion align with actually what you do every day, nothing feels as fulfilling.
Sonya Palmer:
From a career once spent defending what she didn't believe in, Whitney Betts built something radically different. Today, Betts Law Group stands as a force, tripling revenue year after year, mentoring the next generation of advocates, and giving survivors not just a voice, but real power in the legal system. It's a firm shaped by courage, by intention, by a belief that law can heal instead of harm. And maybe most powerfully of all, Whitney isn't just building a business, she's building a better system. One case, one client, one conscious choice at a time.
If Whitney's story moved you, share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. And make sure you're subscribed to LawHer for more stories of bold women reshaping the future of law on their own terms. Thank you for listening.
Whitney Betts:
I think it's a generational shift, and I'm seeing more and more of that change. And I wish it could be faster. I wish we could just say, "Don't you see it? Don't you get it? Don't you see that this society is so much better?" My two boys are going to be raised to see an equal household, an equally powerful dynamic. And I don't want them to expect anything more or less from their partnerships in the future.
